i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Randomize
