Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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