I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
