I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
