Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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