i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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