If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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