honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
