Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
