So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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