yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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