Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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