I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
