life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
