i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
