the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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