i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
