Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
