update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize