Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
