i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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