so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
