so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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