We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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