I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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