These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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