Where did you get a picture of my penis
I will die if light touches me.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
