You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
