im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
