R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
