i barfeds in our rink
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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