whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
