I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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