erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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