I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
