As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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