we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
