I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
