Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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