Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
