I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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