Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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