dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize