i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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