just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
