I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
