Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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