Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
