I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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