just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
so let's talk penis.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
