Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
