connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
We are two peas in an std pod
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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