I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
