guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
