Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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