his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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