In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
