Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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