Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
