i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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