Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
