So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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