just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
