I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
